This is the week I learned that our children do not belong to us.
We are not gods, to create a small being in our image.
They come to us
needy and helpless, and we are
Caretakers. Lives, made up of
oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and phosphorus, even
heart, mind, and soul;
each are but dust returning to dust.
Arrogantly we live
day after day, with these small persons
believing that each meal, healthy or otherwise,
each book carefully chosen and lovingly read,
each activity selected so diligently,
each pastime and hobby, talent nurtured,
each word spoken into their small world
will stop them, and
do; our Possession
to be molded, shaped, crafted
carefully controlling every encounter while they are young.
As if it changes anything.
Eventually they will choose Life or Death.
Unthinking, we are judiciously creating a small being
In Our Image.
This is the week I lost.
I let go.
This is the week everything changed forever;
Inside me something broke
the illusion of control.
This is the week, I gave them back;
to be “mine” is to lose them forever.
Yes, this is the week I lost.
And yet, here they are. Still
living and breathing, asleep in their beds.
and I am (still) full of hope, leaning on it
confident of this:
They are not mine, they are
released from my sweaty grip.
This is the week everything changed forever,
as mother became
helpless, child became
person, and everything changed, forever.