Alternatively

I have often wondered about my mind. How it plays tricks on me. Fogging my intellect, crushing inspiration, causing chaos, creating doubt, hatred, despair while dragging my life down into depression.

I have learned to fake it, to pretend that everything will be alright. That the pills work. Have to be okay. What is the alternative?

Everyone has faith in me to survive. I ask God for help as everyone was slowly stripped away from me by death. There is only me and God to wrestle this archenemy depression. The anger that sits inside threatening. Every day we win if every day I wake up. Again and again. To choose generosity, to be a good person, to see beauty, to give away my love. There is no good inside me unless God resides there. That’s life enough for today.