{Blue Devils}

I live in a place of morbidity, where death
hangs round, a constant companion.  When you have lost
a parent you are constantly aware. Each moment, even pointless ones, are fraught with weighty meaning because

there may be no more.

And yet there has been so much pain,
roads traveled, days endured
the blue devils of hell traversed together.

Why do you call her MOTHER?
my daughter asks me, it’s cold and distant.
Because that is her name and that is what she has always been
[to me.]

Back again to knowledge.

The realization that this could be our last
conversation.  Life is always heavy, for I am daughter, caregiver, confidant, even adviser and she is
will be

Even when she is gone.


blue devils

pl n

1. a fit of depression or melancholy
2. an attack of delirium tremens

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

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