How hard can it be? Some days, too hard.
As you crawl back into bed, pleading with the universe,
To make it all disappear.
You can’t drink away your fear and so,
You choose sleep. It’s the only option,
When you must make your mind stop.
Furtive thoughts, disbelieving truths, you are
Just plain scared. And of what?
Your heart races from thinking too much.
Hands shaky. Breathing in, out. Counting down, 100, 99, …
To slow down your heart,
Your head whispers lies.
You lay there for an unknowable amount of time,
Moments lost forever.
Irretrievable.
Just Gone. And at a certain point you realize that
The panic that quietly stole your day — the lies
From the pit of your heart are untrue.
After incalculable hours lost, never to be retrieved
You get up. You paint your face,
Coif your hair.
You put on pink, the happy color,
The disguise. Just imagine yourself strong.
10/23/08 MHH
ugh.. yes… I could certainly relate to this..
Nice writing… glad to have stumbled in here. =)
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Thanks Samantha. Welcome. And come back.
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