Happy Birthday to Me: A Look Back. And A Book Release.

I’m forty-eight today. Surreal. We will not celebrate for various reasons, none of which are as morbid as you’re imagining.  It is: no wish to celebrate (yes, I told Tom not to do anything) and being a little broke. I’m content. Instead of writing my annual birthday post, I’ve listed all the essays and poetry I wrote…

Organizing and Rearranging

Hi, After having this blog for six and half years, I’m finally reorganizing. WordPress sends their congratulations.  I take the time to go back and look and my first post was 2008, October.  If that’s true then I’ve been sober six and a half years.  Hooray! Today I accidentally sent an empty page to you. Sorry for…

Lent Diary: The Mundane, A Holy Awareness, Our body, and Jesus

My first Lenten post is here. These are the indiscriminate observations from days one and two.  Often, I allow dailiness of life to flood in, the tyranny of the urgent family agenda turning me half brain-dead.  Just do the next thing, if grumpily. In The Sign of Jonas, Merton says:  “I ought to know, by now,…

When I Was A Falling Down Drunk: A Love Story

It’s only been a few days but I feel it.  In the hidden, hard place where I keep my little girl heart that learned to be scared too early.  That place in my heart has shifted. It might be that I am writing out the story of how I once was a falling down drunk. …

The Silent Scream: Depression & Autopilot Mom

For months I have been unable to smile honestly.  When I think about it, that I need to smile so that people don’t wonder, I can’t make my face do it.  My husband asks if I’m okay.  Yes.  I will always say yes, unless it’s really grave.  But it has not been life and death…

Why So Silent? (And My New Superpower)

I have a super power — Invisibility. I’m having a difficult time sorting things – knowing that I want to be writing, but accepting life, which includes very little time for creativity. My camera has fallen silent and well as this blog. I have done a little writing, including a piece for my church on the Eat…

{I Believe}

I believe in God. I believe in God, and  what Jesus did, being human. Living fully, dying to atone for my messes, of which there are many.  That Jesus lives and now is with God the Father.  It is at times confusing and other days simple.  Just believe. Or choose not to, that is your right. I…

Running Toward Life

Writing the first words, after being gone is a little terrifying. I am out of sync. And that’s the greatest crime, the cardinal rule. Bloggers write.  Regularly, with precision and passion without pausing. But I took time off. I had to do it and I know that I was doing the right thing. I did it in order to learn, to read (I read half the Bible),…

I’ve Been Quiet

I’ve been quiet, because the world is so loud. So many days I just cannot do anything more than put my hands over my ears and shut it all out. This world where exegesis and hermeneutic and “being right “are more important than generosity and love. A world where the decision of the Church or the Government feeding the hungry becomes…