There is a woman who makes raising up children and being at-home seem the most gratifying and beautiful tasks in the whole world. I want to believe it is a noble task and I read her blog, if a bit unfaithfully. When I remember again, I go there and I seem to gorge on her simple, profound theological insights and humble, breathtaking photography. She reminded me today of Henri Nouwen’s words suggesting that:
“[t]he word patience means willingness to stay where we are and live out the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”
How can I be so frustrated and impatient in my circumstances?
If there was a sub-theme to my blog it would be that! If there was a lesson (and there have been so many) I feel I have been supposed to learn from the last decade of life at home it has been to believe that I am where God wants me. Also, that who I am is more important than what I am doing. For more than a year, I sought God’s will; I cried and prayed and wanted to know if I should quit my job. I sought insight from wise people. I asked myself in my heart of hearts what I should do and then finally made a decision. This is his desire for me right now until he clearly presents the next thing. (And I think he has, but that’s another post.)
I need to ask what is God manifesting today and be humbled by the knowledge of God’s sovereignty. But even as I do, I can celebrate all that I have learned. And continue to be a good mother, as best I can. (Now the best homemaker, not so much.)
What makes a good mother is a question all mothers ask ourselves. Only you can sort that out for yourself. Every circumstance, each child, individual women and men, make each experience of parenting different.
These are a few things I have learned along the way … about being a Good Mother. A good mother …
- Loves always and in everything. (I cling to 1 Corinthians 13.)
- Tells her children often and in specific ways how they are unique.
- Thinks before she speaks and if necessary gives herself a time out. (I have been told it takes ten positive remarks to “do away” with one negative comment. Teachers should also realize this.)
- Admits when she is wrong. Just do it. The #1 best thing you could do for your kids.
- Is accountable to others in her parenting. I laugh because when heat of summer comes along and the windows are thrown open, the neighbors can hear you yelling at your kids. That’s accountability.
- Should be less lazy in keeping kids accountable to their commitments. (I’m preaching to myself here.)
- Speaks biblical truth into her kids lives. We are all theologians.
- Forgives herself for being imperfect.
- Forgives her kids for being imperfect little beings.
- Lets her kids see her affection for her spouse. (I am not a touchy-feely type, but it’s no matter. My husband and my kids need me to hug my husband more often!)
- Has her own goals. (Woops. But this is important and I’ll have to put aside a whole blog post to it sometime soon. You cannot set aside all of your personal goals for your kids. Think of your intellectual and career needs.)
- And from Ann, “even when you sin and fall, cling to grace.” And I would add, let your kids see it.
What are you learning? Who are you learning from? Who inspires you today?
And thank you Ann. Below is a link to her blog.