{My Silence, Depression’s Lies, and Faith}

I LIVE depression is a liar wailing. it hates you as much as you hate it.  and you know, you fear eventually the battle will be won. you may not be the victor. still you will fight  the raging storm inside your brain. to stop would be suicide. life goes on, you cannot stop for Love remains….

Starting Again, Come Monday

  “Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s the day-to-day living that wears you out…”  — Chekov It is the today, yesterday, and tomorrow; the calamities converging into a sucker punch, so that my ears are ringing, bumping and bashing back and forth, I’m wobbly. I’m done.   My heart hurts, my body even hurts from the…

{Ten Thousand Tears}

My tears are welcome. I see them splattered, dried on my glasses as I peer out the window into the wintry, cold, gray, foggy morning; tiny specks on the panes of my eyeglasses. I wipe hard at these dried salty witnesses. They are a record of my sodden heart. Ten thousand tears come raining down. The soil of…

I’m Not Gonna Lie, I’m Depressed

I’m not gonna lie, I’m depressed.  Not that I was lying before when I pretended that I wasn’t.  Life is a silly game, and a beautiful dance,  It takes skill – to weather life’s storms. (And we’ve been in a blow-your-mind-knock-you-down kind of hurricane!) It’s a special skill to endure, to survive, to not get…

What’s changing, so that I can be writing!

This is such a busy time for folks with kids.  We are living the last month or so of school and for whatever reason my kids seem to teeter on the brink of things this year academically, spiritually, emotionally — this has been a challenging and demanding year.  With summer looming, there will be any opportunities to…

AN INEXPLICABLE THING: Depression

Depression is real, very physically here and enigmatic.  After all this time it remains a mystery to me exactly why it returns. Granted, there are a few things that I realize I do know, I actually have learned about the illness.  And so for the most part yesterday, I decided to fight because I know…

Truly Depressed People Scare Me

My neighbor, who is eighty-four, won’t answer me directly when I ask how she’s doing.  “Tomorrow will be better” is her reply.  It always amazes me that she never complains.  Not even when asked! And in my estimation she’s got some things she could.   She had surgery on her back last year for pain.  It…

Life is Work, Hard Work (but there is a ray of hope)

To want–to strive–to long for more is to be human. Isn’t it? We are all on that journey of life, which for some comes so easily and for others, I include myself here, is work, hard work. Jesus says in John 8:32 “the truth will set you free” and that I believe.  It is what makes me a believer.  The…