{My Father is Dead} A Remembrance on Father’s Day

“I will not leave you orphaned… I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left–feeling abandoned, bereft… I’m leaving you well and whole.” — John 14 My father is dead but he is alive in my head. He haunts me. I often wish I could kill him  off for good, then I remember how much…

Aging, Legacies and more Time with our Family

I often wonder if I am too hard on the memory of my father.  As the years go by the memories fade good and bad ones.   A couple of things happened this weekend that made me think of my father.  He died in his early sixties.  He should have had another thirty years. 92-year old…

it’s 4:59 am, and you disintegrated slowly [A Poem]

Daddy, I miss you. I really do!  I try not to, because I think I am still mad at you. I’ve got a nice fat file at the UW Department of Psychiatry to prove it. I glanced at the back of the room and saw you sitting there.  With your grin, how I lived to…

I needed [Too Late]

I NEEDED I needed a father who would love me for who I am, not who I might be or who I might become. I needed to be able to speak my mind, express myself, have opinions, and not feel I was your captive, imprisoned by you being right every time. I needed a father…