dadOriginally uploaded by M e l o d y My father was diagnosed with two fatal brain tumors November 2002. This rendering (right) is of the last photo ever taken of him. Of course we had no idea that he was going to die a few days later. I love it, because although he wasn’t … Continue reading My dad: Dan Harrison
I never wanted to be like my mother. My mother stayed for more than 40 years in a marriage that broke her heart. She admits now that she was afraid. She married in the late fifties, when women couldn’t even have a bank account in their name. She was a teacher and worked to put … Continue reading I Never Wanted to be Like My Mother
I am grieving my father’s absence today. I miss him terribly. (This is true, even while it is also true that I was afraid of him all my life.) He was my father and I loved him. He was wise and could be gentle and kind. Yesterday while reflecting on where I have come from, I … Continue reading (I am) Under Construction: I Believe in the God who keeps time and has a long view that I cannot comprehend
I just posted a piece on domestic abuse. This is a tiny bit of my personal story that I wrote several years ago. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. — Thomas S. Szasz First published in March 2010. This was not easy to … Continue reading Were I to forgive you, Daddy … [A tale of domestic abuse, Part 2]
BE REAL. One of the ways I’m going to do that – be real — is to write a response to the sermons I hear at my church, Blackhawk. These responses are not from the church, just my reflections. I am always challenged by teachers at Blackhawk, sometimes profoundly, but I don’t — to be honest — always take the time needed … Continue reading Do You Trust God? (A response to Blackhawk’s sermon “Stop”)
Daddy, I miss you. I really do! I try not to, because I think I am still mad at you. I’ve got a nice fat file at the UW Department of Psychiatry to prove it. I glanced at the back of the room and saw you sitting there. With your grin, how I lived to … Continue reading it’s 4:59 am, and you disintegrated slowly [A Poem]
“Everyone says that forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” – CS Lewis Forgiveness of grave acts of injustice can feel like an abstract concept to those who have not experienced those acts. ( — PRISM magazine) Sometimes I write, telling parts of my story, in order take what is anything but … Continue reading forgiveness: expect miracles
Image by M e l o d y via Flickr I read about 50 blogs. Not all the time and definitely not every day. Correction. I was curious and the fact is that I track more than 220 blogs on http://www.igoogle.com. No wonder I feel overwhelmed by the glut of information out there for one … Continue reading Always Striving, Never Satisfied
Tonya (8), Melody (10), Holly (3) and Paula (12) with Dan Harrison in southern California, 1976. SISTERS: A Sacred Contract A sacred contract between sisters; My secrets are yours, yours are mine, And theirs are ours together. Four sisters. Bound to one another by secrets. ‘You don’t owe each other,’ my husband said. Oh, but … Continue reading A Sacred Contract [a poem]
I’m one day into this toxic fast, which I haven’t technically started. I have splitting headache, but my spirit is open and today I feel happy. That’s worth commenting on because honestly the last time I can say I felt happy was … I cannot remember. Before I digress into that quagmire, I just want … Continue reading I feel like saying something nice.
I’m forty-eight today. Surreal. We will not celebrate for various reasons, none of which are as morbid as you’re imagining. It is: no wish to celebrate (yes, I told Tom not to do anything) and being a little broke. I’m content. Instead of writing my annual birthday post, I’ve listed all the essays and poetry I wrote … Continue reading Happy Birthday to Me: A Look Back. And A Book Release.
I have always seen “weakness” as a defect and here on this blog I say a lot about what I consider to be my own weaknesses – the narrative playing in my head and here on these pages for years has been a fear that I am too broken and weak to be useful at all. … Continue reading Life is not Pass or Fail: A Mother’s Day Remembrance