My Very Little Faith

1. As it turns out I have A Very Little Faith. Perhaps I am a product of my human father who believed personal greatness was achieved through his tenacious hard work. Having a false humility, showing off A Very Big Faith, I saw that it was one that didn’t fundamentally change his character. Not really. This […]

Read more

The Dust Bunnies and the Broken Hearts of Mental Illness

I say the things aloud. It is an effort. I want to make them come true. “I will clean today. I will cook dinner. I will go to the bank.” Even as I speak the words I know how unlikely it is that I will be able to do more than sit here. Breathing under water is life […]

Read more

A Crack in Your Life, That’s How the Light Gets In

I spent most of my life numb and afraid. I spent the next while trying to fix myself.  Then, I began to let go of control. Now life is a daily letting go. “Maybe you have to have a crack in your disbelief, that’s how the light gets in.” I am fighting, kicking and screaming […]

Read more

Family in Town (a poem about family, loss, addiction, and change)

Family in town and from out of town sometimes means heavy remembering, and just a little trying to forget though you are no longer disappearing. Into the bottle. Family in town means many goings-on, even when you’re sick and tired.  It means running out of money. It means trying hard to make everyone happy.  Trying […]

Read more

Choking

You choke on the words. You hurt me. Three simple words, a confrontation that won’t come. The fear-scab comes off the child-grown-up-into-woman wound. The mutilation, scarred over long enough   that you had actually forgotten. Again. Impossible. You needed to forget. Until mother-sister-blood family rips it off again. Their indifference, your insignificance, that’s what you need […]

Read more