{a message from my dead father}

Jumbles of words wake me up; clotting in me.  My body resists waking for it’s much too early.  This is my day-to-day litmus test.  How bad? Long before dawn, I am scanning for the gravity of my depression. I have always eavesdropped on myself in this way. Somehow the heart knows, even if one has…

{We Are All Dying}

The crawl of fear, of losing, is close.  It licks me, as if I am a salty wound.  Everyone dies. Of course. But lately, I am aware of Life all around me healthy or otherwise. Tiny birds are singing a sonnet, high up in the tree. Cancer cells are growing inside a dear old friend. Dementia and…

Watching my Father Die, What I Learned

Whether I die of a prolonged fight with cancer or go quickly in a mishap, I hope that I will have no regrets. I hope that I die knowing that my life pleased God. I watched my father die and learned something.  For whatever reason, Dad couldn’t let go of his life. He died resisting,…

Goodbye “Uncle” Pete

goodbye “uncle” pete Originally uploaded by M e l o d y It was Christmas eve. The kids and I spent the day making and decorating sugar cookies. The kids had so much fun. (Of course we told them to slow down with the candies on top, or no-one would want to eat them!) Emma…