{Ten Thousand Tears}

My tears are welcome. I see them splattered, dried on my glasses as I peer out the window into the wintry, cold, gray, foggy morning; tiny specks on the panes of my eyeglasses. I wipe hard at these dried salty witnesses. They are a record of my sodden heart. Ten thousand tears come raining down. The soil of […]

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What If All Your Life You Believed A Lie? You Are Too Broken.

The morning air is all awash with angels …  – Richard Wilbur You cannot unbreak a broken stick. This morning, I awoke to a sense of life’s forfeiture.  I am broken. I’ve lived half my life, if my mother is to be believed I’m only in my middle years, as if I am a broken stick; […]

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{We Are All Dying}

The crawl of fear, of losing, is close.  It licks me, as if I am a salty wound.  Everyone dies. Of course. But lately, I am aware of Life all around me healthy or otherwise. Tiny birds are singing a sonnet, high up in the tree. Cancer cells are growing inside a dear old friend. Dementia and […]

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{Fly Away From Me: On Children}

I woke up this morning, the sun creeping in earlier than I wanted.  Coming out of my dreams, I felt grief wash over my body, sore from running daily; I felt the years wash over me physically.  And fear. I am afraid for all the time—lost.  Gone. My children are almost grownup into people, yet […]

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{A Cautionary Tale of Sobriety}

When I first began this blog in 2008, it was (in many ways) a place to process my alcoholism and recent sobriety.  I felt very alone and thought, why the hell not?  One of the first things I wrote was a poem (of sorts) titled It’s Lonely Here on The Wagon. That poem chronicled the […]

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