I Never Wanted to be Like My Mother

I never wanted to be like my mother. My mother stayed for more than 40 years in a marriage that broke her heart.  She admits now that she was afraid. She married in the late fifties, when women couldn’t even have a bank account in their name.  She was a teacher and worked to put…

I was in Love…with Vodka, Wine and Gin

On the eve of my birth week, I want to take a moment to remember where I have come from, now that I am three plus years sober.    While purging and organizing books this week I came across a little orange index card that I wrote to myself while I was working hard at accepting my…

You Are Not Alone – Thoughts on Sobriety.

At times I detest that I am an alcoholic. It’s damn inconvenient.  Those are the days that it seems the whole world drinks – except me and perhaps James Frey. I dreamt of drinking last night. That scares me a little, because in my dreams I seem to “forget” that I can’t drink.  Now that’s…

this life-long fast [*a poem*]

This Life-Long Fast Just saw a headline in the Huffington Post. Winter Cocktails Gone Wild. And I am choked by my longing.  I can’t explain it easily, but I’ll try. I still crave alcohol.  Not in the way you might think.  Infrequently.  And not when or where you might expect. I go to church in a bar,…