Halloween Loot Beware.

Sour!As we go back and forth in our house about the whole issue of sugar, healthy habits & moderation and the fact that there is too much unhealthy food out there, I have to confess right off we have been living the extremes.

Don’t hate me, but the past few years we have done the let them gorge themselves Halloween night.  And then live the battle, with the “can I have some candy” woes dozens of times a day for weeks afterward.  That approach is pretty much ongoing hell for parents, with strung-out crazy kids right after the event.  And the constant requests are enough to make me want to dump the bags in the trash immediately!

But I’m afraid this year we swung the other direction, pronouncing on Halloween night, that they would be allowed five, count them, 1-2-3-4-5 candies that night and two each day thereafter.

Of course, one of our children declared that we had “ruined Halloween.”  And then, secretly ate half the bag one day when I was unawares.  This person, who shall go unnamed, apparently writhed in guilt for a few hours before stomach or conscious or both caused a confession at dinner.  When I said we need to have her (I mean this person’s) bag of candy “There will be no giving back of my candy, because …it is gone…”  Ha Ha, we were not amused.

But we had to face the fact that our swift pendulum swing into such strict moderation had created another kind  of monster: a lieing and cheating one.

And so I began to hunt for some more reasonable approach and found the following ideas, that seem practical, and healthy and although they still require a parents administration, they make sense and so I pass them on to you.

(adapted from those at www.mealsmatter.org, a Web site supported by the California Dairy Council)

Teach moderation. Overly restrictive rules around candy and other fun foods can backfire and make those foods even more desirable to kids. (Kids hiding or sneaking food behind your back is one clue. we found.) Show children that sweets and dessert can be included in moderate amounts (when you say so) as part of a healthy diet.

Spread it out. Allow kids a few pieces of trick-or-treat candy for dessert after lunch or dinner. Or include a piece or two with more healthful snacks, such as string cheese, vegetables with dip, trail mix, yogurt or a glass of milk.

Be a good role model. Junior may not give a boo for self restraint if he sees Mom or Dad finish off a bag of chips in one sitting.

Show balance. According to the latest Dietary Guidelines for Americans, healthful diet plans that meet all our nutritional recommendations still have room for some “discretionary calories” — additional foods with fat and sugar. For most of us, though, that’s only about an extra 150 to 200 calories per day. (Emphasis mine) That may be a reasonable daily limit for Halloween candy.

Finally, registered dietitian and child nutrition expert Ellyn Satter has this to say about Halloween treats for kids: ”

Your child needs to learn to manage sweets and to keep them in proportion to the other food he eats. The key is to relegate candy to meal and snack times. Maintain the structure of meals and sit-down snacks, with parents retaining their leadership role in choosing the rest of the food that goes on the table. With that kind of structure and foundation, candy won’t spoil a child’s diet or make him too fat.”

That holds for us grown-ups, too. Happy post-Halloween!

Barbara Quinn is a registered dietitian at the Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula in California.

Our great lakes hold 20% of the fresh surface water on earth!

The title alone should stop you in your tracks if you care about our gorgeous lakes here in the mid west and upper peninsula or just the planet and our future water resources. Read on!  If you don’t care, even more so, you should read on.  Bottom line, we have to care.

According to Peter Annin, former Newsweek journalist and author of The Great Lakes Water Wars, this is the issue for the next hundred years and beyond.

The residents in the great lakes region need to manage its own precious resource, the lakes, and this is what Annin has been advocating for in Congress and through the excellent journalism in his book, over the last half-dozen years.   “The Great Lakes are a globally significant recourse, holding 20% of the all the fresh surface water on earth.”

Did you hear that? It bears repeating! The great lakes hold 20% of the all the fresh surface water on earth.

Annin  again: “It is good to use the waters in a sustainable way without all the ecological drawbacks that are common in so many parts of North America and the world.”

In my opinion,  and I’ve said this before, water is a key issue for us today. If you’re interested in the book, it can be found in your local bookstores.  (Buy local!)

Here’s the book’s You Tube  commercial  and an interesting ‘interview.’  I learned a lot.  It got me riled up.  Hence this little rant.

You and I need to know more so that we can speak into the issues, but it is difficult for your average person to figure out how to speak out. There are still places in the Great Lakes Water Compact that bear revisiting and there are deadlines, listed below, that are significant.

As always in a contract of this nature, there is concern that standards could be better defined because “reasonable use” bound against “economic benefits” will always put a price on our water.  How much water is a small withdrawal from the lakes, and can be safely diverted without regulation  is still unclear.  But that we have this agreement is significant  and worth celebrating and we should at the very least follow the conversation, the debate and understand how important it is to our future.

According to http://www.rootswire.org, a new collaboration of bloggers aggregating their sites into a nation-wide news reporting system.

After a burst of activity in 2006 and 2007, when state legislatures considered whether to adopt the Great Lakes Compact, progress on implementation has been slow. While some big decisions have been made—for example, almost all states have chosen thresholds for regulation of water withdrawals—the details are lacking. Stakeholders must press for protective actions in the next few years, or the Compact will fail to fulfill its promise.The requirements and their deadlines are:

· By December 8, 2009, a list of baseline volumes for withdrawals, consumptive uses and diversions must be submitted to the Compact Council. These volumes will be used to grandfather in existing users, and thus must be carefully scrutinized.· By December 8, 2010, water conservation and efficiency goals and objectives must be developed; a water conservation and efficiency program must be implemented; and water conservation measures must be promoted. Strong programs and measures are needed to ensure water will be used thoughtfully, and to ensure there will be enough for the future.

· By December 8, 2013, withdrawals and diversions must be registered and a water management program to regulate new or increased withdrawals and consumptive uses must be developed. The registration program is necessary to know how water is being used in the region. A comprehensive water management program will protect ecosystems from the impact of new or increased withdrawals.

The public needs to take part in this conversation and have the water managed to their benefit not commercial benefit.

Read up.  Get informed.  Water is our future.

I would urge you to do some investigating yourself!

Pete is a neighborhood acquaintance. He also manages the Gull Rock Light Keepers, a non-profit organization founded to save the Gull Rock Lighthouse, which Tom and I support.  The lighthouses of the great lakes are a beautiful, practical and most tangible cause which deserve our resources and attention.

Happy & healthy, from Michelle Obama

My summary from reading an interview done with Michelle Obama in Prevention magazine (Nov, 2009).

This is worth highlighting because we have never had such young President and First Lady, who are so thoroughly balanced, healthy and in love with life.  It’s actually kind of  an ‘out of body (& mind)’ experience after the last first couple who seemed old before their time, middle of the road, uninformed, lackluster, poochy, uncultured ‘folk.’

Okay, perhaps I go too far, but really how can one argue with the mandate to give yourself permission to be happy??

Aren’t we all on the grind, pushing, tired, sacrificing all … basically martyrs to our children’s futures?  Well, take a moment with a cup of tea or Joe, and read this little summary.  At the very least it will encourage you that our First Lady is a happy balanced woman and she has given you permission to be too.

Give yourself permission to be happy.

Make choices that make you happy and make sense for you.  Even your husband will be happier when you are happy. It will benefit the kids, husband and your own physical health.

Find balance as a Mother and make yourself a priority.

“I think my mother taught me what not to do. She put us first, always, sometimes to the detriment of herself. She encouraged me not to do that. She’d say being a good mother isn’t all about sacrificing; it’s really investing and putting yourself higher on your priority list. You can be a good mom and still work out, get your rest, have a career—or not. She encouraged me to find that balance.”

“I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband, and my physical health. That’s hard for women to own; we’re not taught to do that. It’s a lesson that I want to teach my girls so they don’t wait for their “aha” moment until they’re in their 30s like I was. Maybe they can experience it a little earlier.”

Make exercise a priority.

I get up before the family, for me 4:30 am up, 8:00 pm to bed, ten at the latest.  Sleep is important but so is getting exercise.

Get Healthy While You’re Young.

“I always want to be in the best shape that I can be. What I’m discovering is that the older you get, the more work you have to do to stay there.”  The older you get, the more work you have to do to stay healthy. Watch what you eat and exercise.  (At 40 I priorities cardio, flexibility, Pilates, stretching.)

I totally agree with her here.  If you are reading this in your 20s or 30s, get out and exercise today!  It gets so, so (I want to write ten more so’s) much harder in your 40s, after kids, into those settled years.

Enjoy everything, but in Moderation.

“I try to have no absolute nos. I love french fries, I like a good burger, and I like pie. And that’s okay. I would be depressed if I felt I could never eat the things that I love.”  Good health is multi-faceted – it’s physical, it’s internal, it’s what you eat, and your emotional state.

Aging is great!

Everything is getting better, you have way more control, you know yourself better.

Be aware and intentional about your health.

Set up new boundaries for your eating as your schedule changes, like holidays.  Be aware.  Intentional.

Kids should think about their choices with eating.  No absolutes.

“Can I have pie?” my daughter asks.  “Did you have it yesterday? What do you think?” I answer.  “Yeah, I guess I can’t have it every day.”  This is important for her to think through and decide for herself.

Fashion sensibilities.

Do what makes you feel good, because there will always be someone who thinks you should do it differently.

Overall, her thoughts are so practical and balanced.  Sure, it takes more work in your forties to be in shape or in my case get in shape.  But it’s worth it.  It brings so much goodness into your families’ lives if we find the balance.  We owe it to ourselves and our families.

“Mommy, I need a hug”


…

 

Originally uploaded by M e l o d y

I know all parents say this, but really she is growing up too quickly all of sudden. I have this overwhelming urge to slow- it- down.

Firstly I think because I have so much yet to learn about  helping her grow into a strong, confident compassionate woman.  I feel as if I am only now learning these things!

But also because I so love the moments when she still says “Mommy I need a hug” and crawls into my lap.  Or, “Mom, you won’t believe what happened.” or, “What would you do if…?”

She’s growing up faster than I’m ready for because the manual on good parenting hasn’t been written, that I’ve found, and I’ve read a lot of them. And the mistakes are piling up. And my fear that I’ll mess it all up seems like an insurmountable mountain.

How does a parent develop a strong sense of authority in a child’s life, without being dogmatic, domineering, scary and just plain s***head. Cause that’s what I grew up with and I’m so afraid of doing that that I fear I am a milk toast.  The level of fear I grew up with makes me cringe when a parent raises their voice, and makes me weak and fearful of my own.

Tell me how you develop the sense of authority in your children’s lives while keeping the sense personal strength, self-knowledge, self-reliance, independence and autonomy that everyone needs, especially young girls.

Please.

The Way Mulattas Make Me Feel: Michael Jackson’s Domination of the Feminized Other by Abdel Shakur

michael jackson I have come upon a website doing some great thinking about the convergence of faith as you may know it and your life.  I spent more than a little time there yesterday.

This article surprised me and since that doesn’t happen too often I urge you to read it and tell me what you think.  Do you agree with Abdel Shakur?  Let me know.

The Other Journal at Mars Hill Graduate School :: The Way Mulattas Make Me Feel: Michael Jackson’s Domination of the Feminized Other by Abdel Shakur.

Boo!


Originally uploaded by M e l o d y

I sure hope your days are full of fun with kids. If you don’t have kids, I’m sure you’ll enjoy all those little tyke’s comin’ round tomorrow night.  Halloween is simply a fun time for children and a bit of a hassle for parents, in my opinion.  Back in the day (listen to me I sound old!) we used to make up our costumes.  Where’s the fun, really, in buying a costume?  And yet, most every year we run out of time or just can’t think how to make a Darth Vader costume and so we’re off to the store for a costume costing anywhere in the range of $19.99 (without the light saber) to $59.99 which I refuse to pay.  Somehow it’s lost its charm for me with store bought e v e r y t h i n g.

We carved pumpkins yesterday which was fun.  The boys drew a design and I carved.  But Emma would not let me touch hers.  I had to let her learn the hard way, with a small cut on her hand to show for it.  Sometimes it is hard to let them grow up.

I’m still picking the strands and seeds up off the floor and have not sorted out the seeds from flesh yet.  Does anyone have a good recipe for roasted pumpkin seeds.  I have such good memories of that as a child.

But I am not looking forward to implementing a limit on candy!  And I am more and more concerned about the amount of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) in our diet today.  I have noticed it makes us crazy and sick.

If you’re more than just curious about this, I’d encourage you to read this disturbing article titled The Murky World of High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Here’s a sampling…I’ve highlighted some of the more disturbing results of rats & the scary stuff, HFCS.

Sucrose is composed of glucose and fructose. When sugar is given to rats in high amounts, the rats develop multiple health problems, especially when the rats were deficient in certain nutrients, such as copper. The researchers wanted to know whether it was the fructose or the glucose moiety that was causing the problems. So they repeated their studies with two groups of rats, one given high amounts of glucose and one given high amounts of fructose. The glucose group was unaffected but the fructose group had disastrous results. The male rats did not reach adulthood. They had anemia, high cholesterol and heart hypertrophy–that means that their hearts enlarged until they exploded. They also had delayed testicular development. Dr. Field explains that fructose in combination with copper deficiency in the growing animal interferes with collagen production. (Copper deficiency, by the way, is widespread in America.) In a nutshell, the little bodies of the rats just fell apart. The females were not so affected, but they were unable to produce live young.

A lot more research needs to be done, but this is scary stuff people.

The Sky is Falling (part 3) Shop locally, it’s more IMPT than cheap underwear!

Recently I received a notice that TARGET wanted to build a store in my neighborhood.  I often shop at Target.  So why do I resent them moving into my turf?  I had to really think about it and I realized, other than the increased traffic and tacky feeling of strip mall, I am afraid local mom and pops businesses will suffer.  My money represents power and I have the opportunity to wield it.

There was no author to credit on the website I read it on. So thanks to whomever wrote this:

Top Ten Reasons to Shop Local

10. Local stores are more likely to carry locally produced foods which supports local agriculture.

9. Local business owners give to more local fundraising and 501(c)3’s.

8. Local businesses create a majority of jobs.

7. Local businesses support other local businesses.

6. The business community becomes reflective of this community’s unique culture.

5. The sales taxes I pay support this community and county: fixing my roads, maintaining my recreational facilities, . . .

4. Competition and diversity result in fair prices and more choices.

3. Shopping local reduces my carbon footprint.

2. Local business owners invest in the community and have a vested interest in the future of this community.

1. My hometown is more important than a cheap pair of underwear!

Well said!

And this is a great website the Institute for Local Self-Reliance (ILSR) which proposes a set of new rules that builds community by supporting humanly scaled politics and economics. The rules call for:

  • Decisions made by those impacted
  • Communities accepting responsibility for the welfare of their members and the next generation
  • Households and communities possessing or owning sufficient productive capacity to generate real wealth

NewRules.org discusses the importance of rules and catalogs the best.  We make the rules and the rules make us.

Hold On, Honey (a poem)


In the face of a child

you see a simple belief

that life will always be safe and good.

That they are loved.  Always.

Even when you might yell or sternly scold,

a child forgives. Not really knowing they even need

to forgive.

A child comes  running for a hug and snuggle that says, once again,

everything is going to be okay.

Yes, in the face of a child, everything’s gonna be okay.

A child doesn’t know that they might not eat tomorrow.

A child doesn’t know they may not have a place to sleep tonight.

A child is laughter, joy and expectation of fun. They just want a zooming truck or a pretty doll or a book read, just one.

In the face of a child you find the hope of the whole wide world,

wrapped up in the crinkles around their eyes as they smile,

in those chubby cheeks and baby teeth lined up so nice.

In the sweet, sweaty smell of their body rubbing up against yours.

In a child’s believing eyes there is love.

Their “Good night Mama, I love you” holds more hope than one adult can imagine to feel

in life time.

Hold on to that hope honey. You hold on.

10-28-2009
Written for all children who still smile and for those that have forgotten what it is to be and trust like a child.

SOME DAY: A poem about Siblings (Not) Getting Along

Some Day

Some day I won’t have to ask the question: Why do siblings war?

This I know.

Tattered hearts are the consequence.

It is said by some that soon you will be the best of friends.  And so I listen

from the next room, and wonder and think

it is said so assuredly, but that slippery truth isn’t now,

only some day.  You know what I think?

Some day, if you are lucky, you will long to share breakfast with your brother

and he’ll live miles away.  Or he may be

distracted, distressed or in a disagreement with you.

Life seems to get in the way

of some day.   As for today,

as you kick and scream on the couch demanding

your own way

I can only listen from the other room and pray, for some day.

Written October 28, 2009

I’m back.


Originally uploaded by M e l o d y

Back from Seattle. Dylan and I spent two days there and two days back on the Amtrak train. I have many many images and thoughts from this trip! But I haven’t even unpacked my luggage.

Here’s a fun slide show of the train rides.

Winter Comes

WINTER COMES

Winter is uninvited, yet it always comes.

No matter how long  I postpone trying on last year’s coats, hats and gloves,

even still winter comes.  If I leave the hose out until it’s frozen stiff, snaking through the yard,

still winter comes.  The pots and the plants they crack and curl from the cold.  Winter, comes.

Winter comes in the cold,

dark mornings heralding sad thoughts and memories.

I lost my father to the winter.  I discovered, accepted and revealed a family’s ancient addiction.

I miscarried.  I fell down.  I fell apart.  Always winter comes.

Winter means waking early with darkness bringing in the day.

Though I try to overcome, the anxious thoughts settle in.

Remember the cold. Remember, remember.  I am always falling, in winter.

Good things are lost, so do not hold too tight

to what you desire most.  You will lose them to winter.

Love hurts more in winter, dries up and becomes need.

Love becomes memory. I am falling.  In winter.

And at the moment when the winter once again threatens to overcome, I end my slumber.

On that icy morning I wake early. Snuggle in.

Sipping coffee, by the fire.   And I think of Spring.

13, October, 2009

Feeling Thankful for Love

www.tomhansonmusic.com

Love at first sight is easy

to understand;

it’s when two people have looked

at each other

for a lifetime

that it becomes a miracle.

-Amy Bloom

 

Feeling Thankful

I’m thankful for Tom. My miracle. My best friend.  His heart is good and because of this he is a gentle and loving person. It makes me think of the gospel according to Luke 6:45 : “The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, ….. ; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.”

I am often blown by winds of life, but he is sure-footed.  I am often scattered, there is a centeredness to my husband that is beautiful and reassuring to me.  I am often frightened by my past and what it means for our future, especially for our children.  He is solidly behind me encircling me with his belief in me, his hope for transformation through the grace of the New Testament Jesus and the shalom offered there.  My mind is full and my heart as well, of the knowledge and experience of sharing a life with him.

June 5, 1993, we married in the chapel of Christ Presbyterian Church here in Madison, WI.

  • Four children,
  • two houses,
  • three churches and
  • many, many coffee maker’s later.

And more importantly:

  • leaving a career that was important to me,
  • losing my father to cancer,
  • dealing with family addiction,
  • my battle with major depression,
  • my alcohol addiction, and other personal struggles;

As I have worked my way through a web of family history and learned so much about myself, he is still the person I fell in love with all those years ago.  I certainly understand him better, know him more intimately, comprehend a little better the complex person he is and is becoming.

This feeling of gratitude that I woke with comes out of a trip to Urgent Care with him.

None of us know how many days we have left.  So often we live as if we’ll never die and we face the days as if our loved ones will be with us forever.  By the way, Tom is fine.

This is just a reminder to hug the someone/s that you love.  Hug them and hold on tight.  Consider all that they bring into your life and what it might be like without them.  For all their possible aggravations (thinking of kids right now) they are the one for you —  be it a friend, a child, a lover, or a life long companion.

I know that I bring my many imperfections to this partnership.  And so does he.  That’s what is so amazing about it.

——————————————————————————————

“For death begins with life’s first breath. And life begins at touch of death” – John Oxenham