Category: My Story

The Sky is Falling (part 2)

—> I posted this last year, October, and interestingly it is still relevant. The Sky is Falling (Part 1) is here. <—

Did you know around the world

some 26,500 children

die DAILY?  This is equivalent to:

  • 1 child every 3 seconds.

  • Almost 10 million children dying every year.

  • An Iraq-scale death toll every 15–36 days.

  • 18 children dying every minute.

  • A 2004 Asian Tsunami occurring every week

(Statistics from: http://www.globalissues.org)

It is a difficult battle to face down the fears of today.

What am I afraid of ?  For starters, I am afraid for the state of the world’s economy.  I mean, financial security (something that I thought was a given and that I have absolutely taken for granted) is all but disappearing.  Yes, I am afraid.   It feels like our country is being run into the ground.

Ironically though, really what I’m afraid for is the state of my America — my middle class, or upper middle-class life is feeling shaky.

Did you know America’s poverty rate was almost 13% of our total population last year? That was the fourth consecutive annual increase, the Census Bureau says.

Last year, there were 37 million people living in poverty in the UNITED STATES.

That’s more than one in ten citizens living below the poverty line, and the gap between the haves and have-nots is widening.

I am a “have” — and yet I’m scared?  It makes me wonder what kind of fear and stress others live with daily.

Perhaps as a result of all of the reality shows on television which do nothing to project “reality” but something surreal and unbelievable.  My children are often asking “Are we rich?”  Ah, a good question and difficult to answer.  But if I compare myself, our life, to most of the world we are rich.  As my son says:  we’re definitely thousannaires. (I’m fairly sure he’s coined this phrase.)

And although I am afraid; Even as my mind runs to ‘what ifs’ it is good to remember to reflect on these facts.  Though winter is coming:

  • I have heat and a roof over my head.
  • I can feed my children three meals a day, more if I want.
  • We have two cars,
  • and clothes,
  • and clean water,
  • and health care,
  • school,
  • and our health,
  • currently, we can pay our bills.

I am blessed.

There are many places in our community where others are in need and you and I can help.  Donate clothing or money, or time or food to homeless shelter or a local food pantry.  These are just a few ideas.

Remember to be grateful and not focus on fear.  I want to give out of my abundance, because no matter how much I lost in the stock market recently, or may in the future, or how much the prices of gas and food are skyrocketing, I have much, much more than so many in our community and around the world.

Updates from an Oct 2008 post.

And a few articles to read regarding the US Economy.

1) An interesting article with a little hope about the economy, written by John Maudlin, investment specialist and author of many best selling books.

2)  On another note, I just read this interesting article about a woman, Brooksley Born, head of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission ,who was warning against this current financial crisis ten years ago, titled: The Woman Who Could Have Prevented This Financial Mess Was Silenced by Greenspan, Rubin and Summers.

It’s about pain: Concern for Christian women in the church

This is a followup to writing about multi-ethnicity, race and culture and the culturally insensitive and offensive book, Deadly Viper. I’ve concluded that the only way to change that story is to boycott the book but even that is ineffective. And apparently the authors are “good guys” and they didn’t mean any harm. Okay.  Beyond that, I’m going to continue to follow and cheer on, virtually, my (new) Asian American contacts, for they must continue to raise their concerns about WHY this is so inappropriate.  If you want to do something, here’s the email for the appropriate person to contact at Zondervan, the VP of PR and Communication, Jason.Vines@Zondervan.com.

I keep reading on (mostly) from women blogging, and here, that aspects of Deadly Viper are offensive to women, to which I heave a sigh of frustration!  I don’t want to read their silly book.  I’m not ready to talk about my pain and concerns for Christian women in the church.  And I do not look forward to writing this post which is essentially about PAIN! Yes, pain.

Before you, dear reader, get annoyed because we women are always offended, please understand how much I do not want to talk about this, knowing you think I should stop whining.

For me it starts with questioning why people, but Christians especially, cause one another pain so needlessly?  And especially why do we cause pain for those that are different from us?  Why are Christians so dogmatic, so closed-minded, so unwilling to change, so proud, and so damn selfish?  This is a serious generalization, but I cannot stand the reputations that Christians have right now in the media and in any secular context.  I cannot stand the way many, many Christians behave, it’s embarrassing!  We, above all, as followers of Christ are instructed to love, as Jesus loved (Remember the poor, the meek, the widow, the prisoner.)

If a person is in pain, whose fault is it?  I’m especially cognizant of this question because I have three kids very close in age and my husband and I are constantly being called upon to administer justice. (i.e. break up fights.)  Is it: a) their own fault for being too sensitive or getting hurt? b) the fault of the person who caused the pain in the past so it’s pushing buttons and causing additional anguish, or c) the fault of the person who caused the pain this time?

I suspect though, as we try to figure out who did what to whom and why, that we are asking the wrong questions.  Someone was hurt and pain occurred.  Where do we go from here?  How to make it right.  How to create conversation and learn?  These are the things I try to work through with my children and these are the things we should focus on now, as it relates to very difficult painful experiences.

Let’s be real. Racism exists.  Homophobia is very real. And I can step up boldly to the mike and say: SEXISM IS REAL and alive, though I genuinely wish it were not so.  And it causes minorities, gays and women pain, sometimes deeply, scarring because it is often repeatedly happening.

And yet we live with it.  We learn to get along. Sometimes we even smile and act polite; we don’t want to offend.  occasionally, we get angry.  Women don’t want to be perceived as a bitch.  Christians don’t want to be perceived a liberal.  Many don’t want to be labeled a feminist.  Hardly anyone is willing to, dare I say it, admit to being a person that loves gay people.  And so we live with the pain of repeated offenses, getting along, and leaning on those who are the lightning rods for us, like Dr. Soong Chan Rah and Kathy Khang .   I’m not so sure who other lightning rods are for women but I appreciated Julie Clawson on the topic this week.

So where do we go from here?

I haven’t been in the fray for a long time.  And I haven’t missed it, not really.  But allow me to tell you a true story, the short version of nearly ten years of my life.  Every word is true although admittedly my perspective. I worked for many years for a para-church organization.  I was lucky in that  I was given tons of responsibility and opportunities for leadership.  I was using my abilities, influencing, it was a good place.   As fast as I could catch I was being thrown responsibility and I love it.  I was Gen X right when Gen X was a hot topic and I was able to bring that to the organization’s communications efforts.  admittedly, I was promoted quickly over just a few years.

Running parallel to this was a tension growing between myself and another leader.   He was older (by two decades ), intellectual, theological, super influential and made a big splash all the time and he had made himself integral to all aspects of the organization.

I was an up and comer and although people liked my work, and my work ethic and my productivity, it wasn’t long before it was clear that we were competitors.  There are more spiritual ways of saying it without sounding crass, but there’s only so much turf in a small organization and we both wanted it.  Were fighting for it all the time.  Oh, not to each others’ faces but in everything we did we were working toward taking charge of the area of communication. Trust me I was not a perfect leader by any means, but I would say probably my greatest vice (other than an insane desire to be perfect and in control of everything and working too hard) was working my staff too hard and not providing enough coaching.  No one had ever coached me and I didn’t know how, but that’s another topic (throwing leaders into the fire without grooming them.)  His vice?  Temper temper.  He threw a Bible at my friend in anger.  He treated people (below him) horribly.  Severe abuse which I would hear about and would bring up with my supervisor and it hit the President’s office and stayed there.  They were buddies.

Being an emotional person, I cried floods of tears at home in bed to my husband and I prayed, but at work I tried to prove to everyone what I “just knew” — that I was supposed to be the one in charge.  I was young, innovative, I was ‘the future.’  Meanwhile, I was also having babies while working full-time.  I would have these meetings with my supervisor where I would try to make him understand how horrible it all was the infighting and how people were being treated and that people were leaving the organization because of this person, and as he said “We waded through blood together.”

Then one day he brought me into his office and he had a time line on the whiteboard.  I kid you not, he had a time line for my life where I would finish out the current assignment, I would go be a mommy for a few years, and this person would have retired and then I would come back and rule!  Once I got over the hurt, knowing that he was done advocating for me AND  he was essentially telling me I had gone as far as I was going to there.  So I finished the gig I had and quit.  That was nine years ago and I haven’t gone back and they haven’t asked me.  Draw your own conclusions.

AND SO I FOUND A PARTIAL COPY OF DEADLY VIPERS ONLINE.

I began to read.  I first learned one of the authors owns a Media Firm (Yikes! What a revelation!)  They need some sensitivity training.  But I digress, sort of.  I’d like to ask the authors of Deadly Vipers if they have daughters.  Because if they do, how can they speak so diminutively about girls and women?  Here’s an example:

“there’s little old us looking like school girls with plaid skirts on, because we are unskilled and undisciplined in the area of character. We’re weaklings with rail skinny arms and toothpick legs.” DV, page 8

I have a daughter.  I am a daughter and a woman and I must say I resent being used as an example of weak and pathetic, totally lacking in character and discipline and I do not want my daughter thinking that she is either.  Even worse, would be my sons learning about “leadership” from macho, cool, trendy dewdes.

These guys are my worst nightmare.  They even make fun of ugly people!! Yes, I mean nerds, geeks, “four eyes,” me.  Yep guys, you’ve gone and made me mad.  How can you use ugly people in such a way?  So that did make me cringe and wonder at their sophomoric attempts at humor, and cool, and their strange lingo.  But I stopped reading when I read the phrase:  “We are asking you to go balls out with us.” mostly because I had to look it up.  They can’t mean what I think they mean …?  Go look for yourself, but I can tell you that you exclude women from your book at this point boys, as this is something that we just physically can’t do.

So forget about Deadly Vipers.  I’m tired of that topic already and I don’t really want to beat up on these poor guys.  They are just trying to be cool, and hip and relevant.  Just trying is what they are doing, trying too hard.

I shall put my Communications hat on for a second and tell Zondervan and their PR people what I think.

1) Say you’re sorry and you messed up, when you’re sorry and you mess up. Just do it cause it will make you a stronger person. Humility is a part of integrity.  Then, fix it.

Once I produced a poster for a convention featuring all sorts of images of people serving in different capacities.  What I didn’t notice, nor did the graphic designer, or a whole slew of other people who saw the thing, that all of the servees were ethnic and/or darker skinned and the servers were lighter skin.  The posters got a reaction from our multi-ethnic staff.  I was crushed.  But I had messed up.  So, I pulled the posters and they were trashed.  We quickly redid a promo poster and I can tell you that I will never forget that.  Not because I messed up, but becuase I saw how you can do so and survive if your heart is remorseful and you are willing to change.

2) Change your infrastructure. You must have women and minorities at the table on all levels of your organization if you want to stop making these huge grotesque blunders.  (Well they are huge and grotesque to me.)  In the board room, in the leadership, in the communications team, as your artists and ideas people.  I’m not an ethnic minority so I can’t speak to that, but there are people who consult on such things who could generally help the communications of an organization by having advice on the ways that you communicate and what you’re saying.  I am a woman with a background in communications/marketing and I could easily look over anything quickly to tell you if it’s insulting to women.

3) If that seems too impossible a task (to hire us I mean) then get your organization some cultural sensitivity training.  Again, tons of firms that could help both secular and Christian.  Every person on staff should get such training.

And then tonight I read about Presidential hiring process at Wheaton College and to be honest I had no idea it had gotten to be so backward.  One would assume that Wheaton would hire the best qualified person.  Discrimination on the basis of race, ethnicity, or sex is not only illegal, but morally wrong.  I cannot believe that people feel they need to ask that some women and minority candidates be considered,but like Justice Sonia Sotomeyor said,

“if you are a white male who thinks that race and gender don’t matter, conjure up the image of a Supreme Court made up of all-hispanic and black women, and you will know how the rest of the US feels when faced by the prospect of an overwhelmingly white male Supreme Court.”

If women want an equal world, we have to work for it by accepting positions of authority and responsibility.  Not by walking away from the fight, like I did.  But I gave it everything and frankly almost lost my faith in the process.  And so, I have to look forward to a day when men work side by side with women,  people of every color and stripe, with joy and common purpose. That did not happen for me, but I speak out because I hope that things will be better for my sons and daughters, for my nieces and nephews who are all bi-racial or of a minority culture.   It will be a better world for them.  It just has to be.

Fundamentally, it is our hearts that give us up every time.  And out of our hearts spew what we believe.  It’s our hearts that need changing.

CS Lewis wrote: The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it.

Enough for tonight.

Race, ethnicity & culture

UPDATE:  Zondervan has pulled all the material from their shelves and has an official apology here.  I am surprised and in awe of their willingness to do this.

 

I will be the first to admit that I know so very little about race and ethnicity.  And being white, I think my admitting that point right away is the most important way to start (more important than saying what  little I may know.)

My parents (Dan & Shelby Harrison of Wycliffe & InterVarsity) genuinely loved many people from varied cultures and who were in our home some as friends and others as honored guests from all over the world.  I have shared meals with everyone from Chinese international students to high level Russian educators and everyone in between.  I enjoyed listening to their stories and sharing in laughter and good food.  It was an extremely good way to grow up.  It taught me culture is more than simply to food and conversation.

Sometimes I wonder if I truly learned something meaningful from those people and their life experiences.

I have always felt comfortable within other cultures, but  have never felt a part of them.  My dad always said we (Harrison Family) were Heinz 57 or mutts; not really from anywhere.  Now I’m labeled Caucasian and I have no ‘culture’ to speak of, except for the mix of traditions that my parents brought to our family.  My mother is Texan.  My father culturally Chinese.  (Yes, stories for another day.)  In third grade my best friend was Sarah Wakabayashi.  And over the years, with a few exceptions, my friends were diverse.  Because of my experiences as a missionary kid, even though my skin was white, I have always gravitated toward minority culture kids and I found these friends were more accepting.  Majority culture kids just wanted me to become homogenized.

Today, my best friends here in Madison are a first generation Japanese woman and a Malaysian/Scottish woman.  My dearest lifetime, soul mate and friend is African-American and Japanese.  I feel understood by them, accepted.  But sometimes I think about and wonder why I don’t know more about their experiences of race and racism. We have had some conversations but they were hard to say the least.

This week I followed a conversation over the web between some leaders of the Asian American Christian community and the authors of  Deadly Viper published by Zondervan.  [Deadly Viper is leadership book whose art and concepts use Kung fu and Asian-looking graphics, but the book wasn’t written by Asians nor is it about anything Asian.]  I have no way of knowing if I would have been offended by this book seeing it on the shelf without this context, because my first exposure was through the lens of Asians.  But just looking at it from a marketing perspective (which I know something about because of my job with Urbana & InterVarsity) it used Asian stereotypes and it was just plain stupid sounding. (Seriously, sometimes I wonder about the artists at these conservative Christian organizations.  They need a crash course in cultural sensitivity.)  But as I read (as a voyeur that the web strangely allows for) I realized how offensive it would be, & painful, for Asians, as they saw their culture caricatured and used to sell a book.

Some of their leaders called the issue to light including Dr. Soong-Chan Rah, who was one of the first and has received the most flack.  I was especially moved by Prof. Rah’s personal reflections and impressed by the good and gracious hearts of the Asian leaders.  Sadly, until organizations reflect the diversity of the kingdom of God, these blunders will continue. (more later).  “From a distance [it was] a great statement of how we can move positively in the direction of “authentic” reconciliation and journey towards multi-ethnicity.” (a friend Jimmy McGee on Facebook responding to Dr. Rah.)  I’d urge those of you who want to learn more about this, to read Dr. Rah’s blog, which seems to be a place where he helps people like me understand things from an Asian perpective.

All of this has gotten me thinking.

It got me thinking about my friendships over the years.

How well have I listened?  Have I asked the right questions? Or have I been so afraid of offending  and so fearful that I don’t know how to ask.  I am fearful of hurting my friends have I therefore committed the sin of omission?  I do know that acting casual about race wasn’t better than always talking about our differences.  It’s certainly easier (for me) but no, I do not think it is ever better.  I need to do more.

It got me reading.

There are billions of blogs (http://www.racialicious.com/ is a great one) out there where folk talk about their experiences of racism and being from a minority culture.  They are trying to help us majority folk to understand.  It’s out there.  I spent a few hours on Friday night, just following links.  I will post some of that in the future.

It got me feeling.

My sister Paula has written a book on being white in a multi-ethnic world and I haven’t read it.  I’m sorry Paula but it’s now on my bedstand!  See below for a description of the book.  And I personally own many books which speak to the topic, after working at IV.  I should read them.  Two that jumped from the shelf: Living in Color by Randy Woodley and A Beginner’s Guide to Crossing Cultures: making friends in a multi-cultural world, Patty Lane.  I have dozens more.  [guilt]  I guess I’ve always thought that having friends was good (enough.)

It got me listening.

It is important to listen to the painful experiences of minority culture folk, especially in this instance the Asian, and remembering some of the mistakes I made with Urbana communications trying to speak to many different audiences.

I feel profound sadness for the courage of these beautiful people and I don’t even know them.  I’d like to figure out how to ask my own friends about their experiences of race and racism, because I love them and I should know.

It got me remembering.

Nine years ago I wanted (and felt called in many ways) to attend a multi-racial church here in Madison.  It was hard to find one!  How difficult it was to find what “fit” our family.  Mostly my discomfort was my culture rubbing up against others’ and knowing I wasn’t ready to change.

[The only multi-racial church in Madison that I was aware of was Fountain of Life and for me it was very African-American and pentecostal and not as multi-cultural.  (Nothing being bad about African-American or pentecostal, just very different from my life experience.) It was so different from what we were used to, that my family wasn’t ready to sacrifice what was comfortable and known.]

I compromised, on both multi-ethnicity and the issue of women, by attending the church that I do.  I still need to think about this some more but it is a sad and startling realization.

And as for what happened with Zondervan Publishing (a major Christian publisher) .

Well, when will organizations learn that we offend by our ignorance. And we re-offend by our pride and unwillingness to change or admit our ignorance. We must be willing to say “I don’t know” and “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry.”  And even then, our dear friends are so gracious and so tired of saying ‘it’s okay.”  Because it is not okay.

And we can’t stop there.  I can’t stop here.  One week of being worked up about pain caused by whites is not going to change anything.  The Church needs to figure this out.  There’s too much pain here.  It was almost physical for me as I read these comments from dear, dear people.  My friend Noriko says I have a deeply compassionate heart.  She is so good at reminding your of the good qualities.  It’s a double sided blessing Noriko.

My heart is breaking.  The wrong people are at the tables of power. The wrong people are in charge.  What can be done?

I have to leave it here for today.  Dinner to cook.  Homework to supervise.  But before I go, if you are white and just beginning to think about what it means to be white, please read about Paula’s book below.

——————————————————————————————————————-

Have you ever thought about what it means to be white?  For me, I am often ashamed of being white.  Or to a lesser degree, I never know what to bring to school for the International Potluck, where you’re supposed to represent your culture.  Well, my own sister has written a book on the topic and below is a description.  — Melody

Are you white? Do you know what this means? Are you aware of racial inequality but have wondered, So what do I do?. Paula Harris and Doug Schaupp present a Christian model of what it means to be white, wrestling with issues of history, power, identity, culture, reconciliation, relationship and community

Being White, by Paula Harris & Doug Schaupp, InterVarsity Press.

What does it mean to be white?

When you encounter people from other races or ethnicities, you may become suddenly aware that being white means something. Those from other backgrounds may respond to you differently or suspiciously. You may feel ambivalence about your identity as a white person. Or you may feel frustrated when a friend of another ethnicity shakes his head and says, “You just don’t get it because you’re white.

  • How can you overcome the mistakes of the past?
  • How can you build authentic relationships with people from other races and ethnicities?

Paula Harris and Doug Schaupp present a Christian model of what it means to be white. They wrestle through the history of how those in the majority have oppressed minority cultures, but they also show that whites also have a cultural and ethnic identity with its own distinctive traits and contributions. They demonstrate that white people have a key role to play in the work of racial reconciliation and the forging of a more just society.

Filled with real-life stories, life-transforming insights and practical guidance, this book is for you if you are aware of racial inequality but have wondered, So what do I do? Discover here a vision for just communities where whites can partner with and empower those of other ethnicities.

My dad: Dan Harrison


dadOriginally uploaded by M e l o d y

My father was diagnosed with two fatal brain tumors November 2002. This rendering (right) is of the last photo ever taken of him. Of course we had no idea that he was going to die a few days later.

I love it, because although he wasn’t able to speak by that time, he was watching his grand kids (my kids) play in the yard and this smile is sooo HIS SMILE! Makes me (smile) just looking at it.

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.  —    Rainer Maria Rilke

This is my dad.  I’m missing him today.  He died May 19th, 2003.  When I look at this picture, it still doesn’t seem to be real.

He traveled a lot.  He was gone as much as he was at home growing up.  So when I think of him as dead, well it’s really more of a gone feeling.  Which is very different than dead.

My dad was a mixed blessing.  I guess you take the good with the bad when it comes to parents.  Right now, I’d take anything from him.  I miss him so much.

With all I have learned about photography, I wish that I had one last chance to take his photo.  Oh how I would have loved that.

I’m looking to hear your thoughts about my dad.

I’ll write more later about mine.  I do have poems about him, but I don’t want to focus on that pain right now.  If you want to read them look under Poetry.

Motherhood is never what you expect.

So, she was diving into a leaf pile.

They were playing in the leaf pile, like it was water. She got carried away and forgot it wasn’t water. When I came running, she was flat on her back and couldn’t get up.

Internally, I was absolutely frieking out. I thought for a brief moment that she had broken her neck. Long story short, after a visit to urgent care she’s okay. Jammed her neck, a muscular issue, but nothing too serious.

She’s actually in a bit of pain, but 200 mg of Ibuprofen does wonders.

And the expectations of motherhood, well, I had planned to spend the afternoon alone, while Tom rehearsed for his show and the kids went out with my friend Layne.

Oh well.

Halloween Loot Beware.

Sour!As we go back and forth in our house about the whole issue of sugar, healthy habits & moderation and the fact that there is too much unhealthy food out there, I have to confess right off we have been living the extremes.

Don’t hate me, but the past few years we have done the let them gorge themselves Halloween night.  And then live the battle, with the “can I have some candy” woes dozens of times a day for weeks afterward.  That approach is pretty much ongoing hell for parents, with strung-out crazy kids right after the event.  And the constant requests are enough to make me want to dump the bags in the trash immediately!

But I’m afraid this year we swung the other direction, pronouncing on Halloween night, that they would be allowed five, count them, 1-2-3-4-5 candies that night and two each day thereafter.

Of course, one of our children declared that we had “ruined Halloween.”  And then, secretly ate half the bag one day when I was unawares.  This person, who shall go unnamed, apparently writhed in guilt for a few hours before stomach or conscious or both caused a confession at dinner.  When I said we need to have her (I mean this person’s) bag of candy “There will be no giving back of my candy, because …it is gone…”  Ha Ha, we were not amused.

But we had to face the fact that our swift pendulum swing into such strict moderation had created another kind  of monster: a lieing and cheating one.

And so I began to hunt for some more reasonable approach and found the following ideas, that seem practical, and healthy and although they still require a parents administration, they make sense and so I pass them on to you.

(adapted from those at www.mealsmatter.org, a Web site supported by the California Dairy Council)

Teach moderation. Overly restrictive rules around candy and other fun foods can backfire and make those foods even more desirable to kids. (Kids hiding or sneaking food behind your back is one clue. we found.) Show children that sweets and dessert can be included in moderate amounts (when you say so) as part of a healthy diet.

Spread it out. Allow kids a few pieces of trick-or-treat candy for dessert after lunch or dinner. Or include a piece or two with more healthful snacks, such as string cheese, vegetables with dip, trail mix, yogurt or a glass of milk.

Be a good role model. Junior may not give a boo for self restraint if he sees Mom or Dad finish off a bag of chips in one sitting.

Show balance. According to the latest Dietary Guidelines for Americans, healthful diet plans that meet all our nutritional recommendations still have room for some “discretionary calories” — additional foods with fat and sugar. For most of us, though, that’s only about an extra 150 to 200 calories per day. (Emphasis mine) That may be a reasonable daily limit for Halloween candy.

Finally, registered dietitian and child nutrition expert Ellyn Satter has this to say about Halloween treats for kids: ”

Your child needs to learn to manage sweets and to keep them in proportion to the other food he eats. The key is to relegate candy to meal and snack times. Maintain the structure of meals and sit-down snacks, with parents retaining their leadership role in choosing the rest of the food that goes on the table. With that kind of structure and foundation, candy won’t spoil a child’s diet or make him too fat.”

That holds for us grown-ups, too. Happy post-Halloween!

Barbara Quinn is a registered dietitian at the Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula in California.

Our great lakes hold 20% of the fresh surface water on earth!

The title alone should stop you in your tracks if you care about our gorgeous lakes here in the mid west and upper peninsula or just the planet and our future water resources. Read on!  If you don’t care, even more so, you should read on.  Bottom line, we have to care.

According to Peter Annin, former Newsweek journalist and author of The Great Lakes Water Wars, this is the issue for the next hundred years and beyond.

The residents in the great lakes region need to manage its own precious resource, the lakes, and this is what Annin has been advocating for in Congress and through the excellent journalism in his book, over the last half-dozen years.   “The Great Lakes are a globally significant recourse, holding 20% of the all the fresh surface water on earth.”

Did you hear that? It bears repeating! The great lakes hold 20% of the all the fresh surface water on earth.

Annin  again: “It is good to use the waters in a sustainable way without all the ecological drawbacks that are common in so many parts of North America and the world.”

In my opinion,  and I’ve said this before, water is a key issue for us today. If you’re interested in the book, it can be found in your local bookstores.  (Buy local!)

Here’s the book’s You Tube  commercial  and an interesting ‘interview.’  I learned a lot.  It got me riled up.  Hence this little rant.

You and I need to know more so that we can speak into the issues, but it is difficult for your average person to figure out how to speak out. There are still places in the Great Lakes Water Compact that bear revisiting and there are deadlines, listed below, that are significant.

As always in a contract of this nature, there is concern that standards could be better defined because “reasonable use” bound against “economic benefits” will always put a price on our water.  How much water is a small withdrawal from the lakes, and can be safely diverted without regulation  is still unclear.  But that we have this agreement is significant  and worth celebrating and we should at the very least follow the conversation, the debate and understand how important it is to our future.

According to http://www.rootswire.org, a new collaboration of bloggers aggregating their sites into a nation-wide news reporting system.

After a burst of activity in 2006 and 2007, when state legislatures considered whether to adopt the Great Lakes Compact, progress on implementation has been slow. While some big decisions have been made—for example, almost all states have chosen thresholds for regulation of water withdrawals—the details are lacking. Stakeholders must press for protective actions in the next few years, or the Compact will fail to fulfill its promise.The requirements and their deadlines are:

· By December 8, 2009, a list of baseline volumes for withdrawals, consumptive uses and diversions must be submitted to the Compact Council. These volumes will be used to grandfather in existing users, and thus must be carefully scrutinized.· By December 8, 2010, water conservation and efficiency goals and objectives must be developed; a water conservation and efficiency program must be implemented; and water conservation measures must be promoted. Strong programs and measures are needed to ensure water will be used thoughtfully, and to ensure there will be enough for the future.

· By December 8, 2013, withdrawals and diversions must be registered and a water management program to regulate new or increased withdrawals and consumptive uses must be developed. The registration program is necessary to know how water is being used in the region. A comprehensive water management program will protect ecosystems from the impact of new or increased withdrawals.

The public needs to take part in this conversation and have the water managed to their benefit not commercial benefit.

Read up.  Get informed.  Water is our future.

I would urge you to do some investigating yourself!

Pete is a neighborhood acquaintance. He also manages the Gull Rock Light Keepers, a non-profit organization founded to save the Gull Rock Lighthouse, which Tom and I support.  The lighthouses of the great lakes are a beautiful, practical and most tangible cause which deserve our resources and attention.

“Mommy, I need a hug”


…

 

Originally uploaded by M e l o d y

I know all parents say this, but really she is growing up too quickly all of sudden. I have this overwhelming urge to slow- it- down.

Firstly I think because I have so much yet to learn about  helping her grow into a strong, confident compassionate woman.  I feel as if I am only now learning these things!

But also because I so love the moments when she still says “Mommy I need a hug” and crawls into my lap.  Or, “Mom, you won’t believe what happened.” or, “What would you do if…?”

She’s growing up faster than I’m ready for because the manual on good parenting hasn’t been written, that I’ve found, and I’ve read a lot of them. And the mistakes are piling up. And my fear that I’ll mess it all up seems like an insurmountable mountain.

How does a parent develop a strong sense of authority in a child’s life, without being dogmatic, domineering, scary and just plain s***head. Cause that’s what I grew up with and I’m so afraid of doing that that I fear I am a milk toast.  The level of fear I grew up with makes me cringe when a parent raises their voice, and makes me weak and fearful of my own.

Tell me how you develop the sense of authority in your children’s lives while keeping the sense personal strength, self-knowledge, self-reliance, independence and autonomy that everyone needs, especially young girls.

Please.

Boo!


Originally uploaded by M e l o d y

I sure hope your days are full of fun with kids. If you don’t have kids, I’m sure you’ll enjoy all those little tyke’s comin’ round tomorrow night.  Halloween is simply a fun time for children and a bit of a hassle for parents, in my opinion.  Back in the day (listen to me I sound old!) we used to make up our costumes.  Where’s the fun, really, in buying a costume?  And yet, most every year we run out of time or just can’t think how to make a Darth Vader costume and so we’re off to the store for a costume costing anywhere in the range of $19.99 (without the light saber) to $59.99 which I refuse to pay.  Somehow it’s lost its charm for me with store bought e v e r y t h i n g.

We carved pumpkins yesterday which was fun.  The boys drew a design and I carved.  But Emma would not let me touch hers.  I had to let her learn the hard way, with a small cut on her hand to show for it.  Sometimes it is hard to let them grow up.

I’m still picking the strands and seeds up off the floor and have not sorted out the seeds from flesh yet.  Does anyone have a good recipe for roasted pumpkin seeds.  I have such good memories of that as a child.

But I am not looking forward to implementing a limit on candy!  And I am more and more concerned about the amount of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) in our diet today.  I have noticed it makes us crazy and sick.

If you’re more than just curious about this, I’d encourage you to read this disturbing article titled The Murky World of High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Here’s a sampling…I’ve highlighted some of the more disturbing results of rats & the scary stuff, HFCS.

Sucrose is composed of glucose and fructose. When sugar is given to rats in high amounts, the rats develop multiple health problems, especially when the rats were deficient in certain nutrients, such as copper. The researchers wanted to know whether it was the fructose or the glucose moiety that was causing the problems. So they repeated their studies with two groups of rats, one given high amounts of glucose and one given high amounts of fructose. The glucose group was unaffected but the fructose group had disastrous results. The male rats did not reach adulthood. They had anemia, high cholesterol and heart hypertrophy–that means that their hearts enlarged until they exploded. They also had delayed testicular development. Dr. Field explains that fructose in combination with copper deficiency in the growing animal interferes with collagen production. (Copper deficiency, by the way, is widespread in America.) In a nutshell, the little bodies of the rats just fell apart. The females were not so affected, but they were unable to produce live young.

A lot more research needs to be done, but this is scary stuff people.

Hold On, Honey (a poem)


In the face of a child

you see a simple belief

that life will always be safe and good.

That they are loved.  Always.

Even when you might yell or sternly scold,

a child forgives. Not really knowing they even need

to forgive.

A child comes  running for a hug and snuggle that says, once again,

everything is going to be okay.

Yes, in the face of a child, everything’s gonna be okay.

A child doesn’t know that they might not eat tomorrow.

A child doesn’t know they may not have a place to sleep tonight.

A child is laughter, joy and expectation of fun. They just want a zooming truck or a pretty doll or a book read, just one.

In the face of a child you find the hope of the whole wide world,

wrapped up in the crinkles around their eyes as they smile,

in those chubby cheeks and baby teeth lined up so nice.

In the sweet, sweaty smell of their body rubbing up against yours.

In a child’s believing eyes there is love.

Their “Good night Mama, I love you” holds more hope than one adult can imagine to feel

in life time.

Hold on to that hope honey. You hold on.

10-28-2009
Written for all children who still smile and for those that have forgotten what it is to be and trust like a child.

SOME DAY: A poem about Siblings (Not) Getting Along

Some Day

Some day I won’t have to ask the question: Why do siblings war?

This I know.

Tattered hearts are the consequence.

It is said by some that soon you will be the best of friends.  And so I listen

from the next room, and wonder and think

it is said so assuredly, but that slippery truth isn’t now,

only some day.  You know what I think?

Some day, if you are lucky, you will long to share breakfast with your brother

and he’ll live miles away.  Or he may be

distracted, distressed or in a disagreement with you.

Life seems to get in the way

of some day.   As for today,

as you kick and scream on the couch demanding

your own way

I can only listen from the other room and pray, for some day.

Written October 28, 2009

Feeling Thankful for Love

www.tomhansonmusic.com

Love at first sight is easy

to understand;

it’s when two people have looked

at each other

for a lifetime

that it becomes a miracle.

-Amy Bloom

 

Feeling Thankful

I’m thankful for Tom. My miracle. My best friend.  His heart is good and because of this he is a gentle and loving person. It makes me think of the gospel according to Luke 6:45 : “The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, ….. ; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.”

I am often blown by winds of life, but he is sure-footed.  I am often scattered, there is a centeredness to my husband that is beautiful and reassuring to me.  I am often frightened by my past and what it means for our future, especially for our children.  He is solidly behind me encircling me with his belief in me, his hope for transformation through the grace of the New Testament Jesus and the shalom offered there.  My mind is full and my heart as well, of the knowledge and experience of sharing a life with him.

June 5, 1993, we married in the chapel of Christ Presbyterian Church here in Madison, WI.

  • Four children,
  • two houses,
  • three churches and
  • many, many coffee maker’s later.

And more importantly:

  • leaving a career that was important to me,
  • losing my father to cancer,
  • dealing with family addiction,
  • my battle with major depression,
  • my alcohol addiction, and other personal struggles;

As I have worked my way through a web of family history and learned so much about myself, he is still the person I fell in love with all those years ago.  I certainly understand him better, know him more intimately, comprehend a little better the complex person he is and is becoming.

This feeling of gratitude that I woke with comes out of a trip to Urgent Care with him.

None of us know how many days we have left.  So often we live as if we’ll never die and we face the days as if our loved ones will be with us forever.  By the way, Tom is fine.

This is just a reminder to hug the someone/s that you love.  Hug them and hold on tight.  Consider all that they bring into your life and what it might be like without them.  For all their possible aggravations (thinking of kids right now) they are the one for you —  be it a friend, a child, a lover, or a life long companion.

I know that I bring my many imperfections to this partnership.  And so does he.  That’s what is so amazing about it.

——————————————————————————————

“For death begins with life’s first breath. And life begins at touch of death” – John Oxenham